Friday, September 12, 2008

AAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!

Okay, I feel better having let that out. Well, not really but I feel like I could just let out one big huge aaarrrggghh! My life seems to be one trial after another right now, people living in my house, more people living in my house, business slow, oh yeah and did I tell you I have a potential Dylan Klebold (Columbine killer) living in my house. NOT! You would think so though.
Wednesday I got a call from school that I needed to pick up my son at school because he went ballistic and kicked the crap(literally, about 10x's) out of a girl. Yeah, a girl.
I am of two minds about it. 1. As a mom I want to shake him and ask him, "what the crap were you thinking"? 2. I want to hug him and say, "what did that mean snotty girl say to you that caused you to react that way"? (I have been told that 12 year old girls have the market on "snot factor".
I have had tons of advice, along with lots of other very "helpful friends" tell me things like, "yes my daughter says that he is always yelling at people and losing his temper and being mean". Thank. you. for. that, especially in front of all my other friends. I mean gee, could you have thought of a better way to say publicly, "you suck as a mother and your kid has problems". But, you know I will consider the source. This person seems to gain great joy and self esteem from telling me my kids are losers and hers a perfect. so.......
I have weighed out a lot of options as to whether or not to keep him in the charter school, send him to a "normal" public school, or home school him. I have a phone call to a woman who I feel is the "child guru". She is the most amazing person when it comes to dealing with kids and their bad behavior but also really putting things into perspective and allowing me to see things for what they really are. She is really busy, but I hope she can shed some light on this dilemma before I burst with anxiety.
Maybe someone can answer this for me? Do some kids just not ever get along well with kids? Should I keep him home until he is older (and maybe shaving) and dealing with peers that may be able to better understand him? I don't think he has anything psychologically wrong with him. I think he just doesn't like to be told he is wrong, and I think he doesn't give himself permission to be wrong. So maybe if he understands that it's okay not to always know everything, or to be the smartest or allow other people to have an opinion even if he doesn't agree, that is okay too.
I don't know....Why is being a parent so hard? I hate knowing that the decisions I make now will forever have a lasting affect on who he is and what kind of person he becomes.
Oh please pray I can get through this motherhood thing without really creating a Columbine killer. I think that is all any mother really wants out of life.

3 comments:

VikiViki said...

Terri -
again, so sorry about all of this. I hope that whoever that expert on mothering is will be able to help. You are in my prayers. And - do put too much into what was said. I never would have thought anything more about your son ffrom what she said. As you noted, we have to take it all with a grain of salt. You are a great mother and don't EVER tell yourself otherwise!

Jen said...

I agree, you are a great mom. As far as keeping him home, I have a couple thoughts on that (as you well know I would). One, is that just teaching him that he can run from his problems? Two, if he already is having some trouble relating to his peers, separating him from them may only exacerbate the problem. Perhaps getting him with someone who can help him understand his frustration and better ways to handle it may be beneficial especially in the long run. We all need to learn how to handle our frustrations and he is no different than any other child or person. Some kids are just more sensitive than others. A great book is Raising your Spirited Child. I LOVE that book. I'll call you tomorrow so we can catch up! Don't worry too much. Your kids are great, and ALL of us (including whatever snotty beeotch said that to you) have children who do stupid, inexplicable things! It's part of being human. Hang in there, girlie!

Megan Hanson said...

Terri- I love you. Just wanted you to know that. I can't give any advice in this situation because I wouldn't have a clue what to do myself if I were in your position. Good luck in whatever you decide to do. You are a wonderful person and mother and you have great kids, even if they mess up sometimes. All kids do, but we love them anyway!

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I am a stay at home mom of 6 kids. My oldest has just left for college and my youngest started kindergarten this year. Life couldn't be sweeter. My husband and I have been married for 20 years...wow did I really say that...ok I'm old.